Fuck fuck fuck fuck this is a bunch of bull shit I have been kicked off line twice when I was almost finished this stupid piece of shit of an entry grrrrrrrrrrr thanx mom she is so retarded sometimes!
Well anyway I was talking about things lotsa things I was saying how it is so strange to me that often the ones you feel closest with are the ones who understand you least and then you in return are the same towards them. Is it that they don�t care or are they just not willing to even try and understand it is an enigma to me. I have been toying with this all week.
Well this week has sucked it has sucked a lot and I can�t even begin to give an explanation of why I feel as if my mind is spinning uncontrollably and random emotions are just being spit out which in the end winds up making you feel pretty danm bad. But then I think one of my many philosophies is that life can only reach a certain point of low and then things can only go up and since I completely disregard being dependent on anyone else or anything else but myself I will wait it out and wait for that happy light to come shining through and save me from this pit of dark within my mind.
Really I don�t think it�s as bad as you think I just have a way with words and I apologize if I worry anyone but never fear even at my ultimate lows I would not become suicidle, suicide is a way of cheating it is cowardly as far as I can see and when your life begins to well� suck then just wait it out stare your problems down and in the end you will be stronger than before and the next time things start to go a little wrong you will be more stable and be able to handle things I feel that is the way to help yourself. Suicide doesn�t help anyone it is cheating yourself and everyone else . Anyway yeah these are my thoughts of the moment.
Shit! I hate English or I don�t I just am not to fond of it at this time. I am in a very confused state of mind. I have this stupid book report due Tuesday and I am only about halfway through the book what the hell is wrong with me. I am such a feaking procrastinator my mom would kill me if she knew about this report right now but who cares I don�t like her to much anyway she pisses me off so freaking. Oh well I really should be reading my book but I just don�t feel like it I really really don�t feel like reading this book . Not that it isn�t good, it is good if it were different in my life right now I would probably love it I just have had so much on my mind my head has been spinning like a carnival ride not only becaue this has been a week of issues for me but also because I have just been kinda busy with other things more recently.
Anyway yeah I have little else to say other than goooodddddd my mom really pisses me off and I can�t even explain why and It is so much more frustrating because if I ever tried to say anything to her she�d kirk out I can�t tell my mom anything grrrrrrrrrr but but just grrrrrrrrrrr she does really stupid things that�s all I guess that�s just it. My mom is a fucking bitch.!!!!!!!!
3:46 p.m. - 2002-04-27
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