I have this issue called self-hatred...
I know you all the I am crazy
But I can't help the way I feel
Can�t stop thinking of my weight with every meal...
Can�t control incessive drinking
Can�t stop all this depressive thinking
Can�t help feeling that you hate me
I don't know why you just can't see
This is the just the way I am
This is not just another "feel sorry for me" scam
I really can't stand myself
Admiring my smiling pictures on that shelf
Wish that were really how I felt inside
That smiling face never showing all the tears I cried....
I try to explain this issue of mine
You don't understand and as I�m screaming inside
I need to throw up now;
Throw up my world; can't explain how.
But that is really how I feel
This is all the real deal
I�m sorry I can't make you understand
I�m sorry that you don't give a damn
I really don't understand how or why.
But I really hate myself and that's the bottom line
My life is spinning; out of control
All this frustration is taking its toll,
Can you see me; am I wasting away?
Will you tell me; tell me today?
Just what's wrong with me?
And why I want to be,
Somebody else,
Better than myself,
It doesn't matter who,
Just someone new
Someone to hate a little less,
A way out of this mess
This mess inside my head
That makes me wish that I were dead
Why can't I let myself be happy?
Why must I make my life, oh so crappy?
Am I insane?
To put myself through such pain?
Why can't I like myself?
Why must I put myself through this hell?
Do you really hate me?
Or is it just in my head?
Is this all my fault?
Am I alone in this wish to be dead?
Or do we all hate ourselves; deep down inside?
Maybe I just complain too much.
Maybe everything is just in my mind.
And you all think I�m too happy and such...
4:55 p.m. - 2002-09-17
Recent entries:
I never knew I could be so broken - 2007-12-05
- 3:00 a.m. - %%older_entries%%I never knew I could be so broken - 2007-12-05
- 3:00 a.m. - %%older_entries%%I never knew I could be so broken - 2007-12-05
- 3:00 a.m. - %%older_entries%%I never knew I could be so broken - 2007-12-05
- 3:00 a.m. - %%older_entries%%I never knew I could be so broken - 2007-12-05
- 3:00 a.m. - %%older_entries%%My cat is gone. - 2007-01-19
- 7:01 p.m. - %%older_entries%%My cat is gone. - 2007-01-19
- 7:01 p.m. - %%older_entries%%My cat is gone. - 2007-01-19
- 7:01 p.m. - %%older_entries%%My cat is gone. - 2007-01-19
- 7:01 p.m. - %%older_entries%%My cat is gone. - 2007-01-19
- 7:01 p.m. - %%older_entries%%It's sure been a while - 2006-03-09
- 11:09 p.m. - %%older_entries%%It's sure been a while - 2006-03-09
- 11:09 p.m. - %%older_entries%%It's sure been a while - 2006-03-09
- 11:09 p.m. - %%older_entries%%It's sure been a while - 2006-03-09
- 11:09 p.m. - %%older_entries%%It's sure been a while - 2006-03-09
- 11:09 p.m. - %%older_entries%%my dreams have changed... - 2004-12-10
- 9:57 p.m. - %%older_entries%%my dreams have changed... - 2004-12-10
- 9:57 p.m. - %%older_entries%%my dreams have changed... - 2004-12-10
- 9:57 p.m. - %%older_entries%%my dreams have changed... - 2004-12-10
- 9:57 p.m. - %%older_entries%%my dreams have changed... - 2004-12-10
- 9:57 p.m. - %%older_entries%%I CAN SEE! - 2004-06-11
- 10:16 p.m. - %%older_entries%%I CAN SEE! - 2004-06-11
- 10:16 p.m. - %%older_entries%%I CAN SEE! - 2004-06-11
- 10:16 p.m. - %%older_entries%%I CAN SEE! - 2004-06-11
- 10:16 p.m. - %%older_entries%%I CAN SEE! - 2004-06-11
- 10:16 p.m. - %%older_entries%%
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